Sakura
by yukinomiyazawa
Summary: There is no forever... Just this...


Sakura

Sakura

Yuusuke.

I like you since I was 8. 

It was the time we first held hands, your little tanned fingers encircling my own. 

You were trying to take the lead while I tried to follow every small dance step you did. God knows that you are such a dim-witted brat when it comes to dancing but you kept on insisting that you would lead. I would laugh at you but when you got so irritated you would always step on my foot. 

You're such a hot-tempered boy. Do you remember? The time when I was trying to teach you how to play chess when we were still kids. I know how that checkmate thing works in just 4 moves or 5 so you always end up being a loser and I would tease you about it until we would end up throwing those pawns at each other. 

We would always share our lunch together, even though you would make me cry most of the time. Chicken ramen is our favorite.

We would play in the grass fields near the river after school and we would always try to catch some dragonflies. When we got so tired of playing, we would lie against the grass and watch the clouds shape into boats, planes, palaces and places where we dream of exploring it together.

We were so young then and we kept on wondering what would be the feeling when we are up there in the vast blue skies. Then you told me we could fly together if I'd like to. We promised to each other that we would be the "bestest" best friends…

Forever…

I liked you more since then but you didn't seem to notice.

Even now, I would make you attend your classes though I know you hated it. I would help you with your assignments. It seemed I was given too much patience when it comes to you.

There are times that I just hate you. It really irritates me when you keep on flipping my skirt and pointing out that my butt is getting bigger every minute.

But you don't know how worried I am when you try to put up a fight with everyone who tries to aggravate me. 

I remember how we used to spend so much time talking while we were watching the rose-shaded petals drifting at the park. Do you remember? 

The last time we had our walk…

The rose-shaded petals are drifting while you and I are walking side by side. You know that I like the cherry blossoms and I was so glad that you invited me for a walk. 

A nice day, isn't it? you asked as those chestnut shaded eyes of yours glanced at me. The pathway was strewn with sakura petals. 

Such simple things like these would have irritated you, but you were there with me, standing by my side and watching me in disbelief and with amusement as I marveled at the scene before us like a scene in a romantic movie which guys find boring.

More petals were drifting and it looked so pretty.

Yes, it is. 

You were telling me about how annoyed you were about your math teacher. You kept on mumbling about your wrath for math. I laughed while I was watching you with amusement when you were trying to mimic and make fun of your math teacher.

I kinda missed it.

There was this moment that I could not forget; you seemed to be so nice to me at that day. You stayed by my side when a boy from the upper class broke my heart. Surprisingly, you were not annoying me as you sat there in silence as I cried with your arms around me. You were there comforting me with the tightest hug you could ever give… 

You had always been there.

I just realized that my affection for you went deeper when you asked me to dance and you held my hand. It felt so different. 

It was our valentine party. 

I could still remember that funny but cute look on your face when you came up to me. Then, you smiled at me that I could feel myself slipping into your charms. You offered your hand and asked me if I'd like to dance. I nodded as I could feel my heartbeat racing.

You picked up my hand and lead me to the dance floor where everybody is starting to sway with the rhythm. I could still remember how warm and firm your hold was around mine.

The music was starting and my heart was thumping. Your hand settled at the small of my back, just below the waist. We were standing so close. So close that I could feel your heartbeat against mine. 

Keiko, I think you're not that fat, you said as you gently squeezed my back. Intentionally, you stepped on my foot.

Then, we started our usual bickering. That time, our topic was if you intended to crush my little toes or not. You had this annoying grin that made me want to slap you. Instead I glared at you and gave you a tug instead. 

You know what? Your eyes were smiling. You looked cute when you're mad, you told me as you pinched my cheeks. I was glad that it was a bit dark that you wouldn't notice me blushing. 

You turned me, keeping your arms around my waist so I wouldn't fall. And then you twirled me again then you pulled me into your arms. Hey, you're good, I said then you smiled and turned me again. Afterwards, we fell silent.

The night deepened and the stars were bright. The mushy song was still playing as you held me closer.

I tried to look at your face. You smiled at me, as tiny bubbles began to rise inside me. Your chestnut shaded eyes bathed me with admiration. I couldn't tear away my gaze from yours. There were motes of light dancing in your eyes…

That night, you looked so young and sweet that reminds me all of my daydreams of you. 

We swayed along with the slow melody while a part of me is wishing that somehow you felt the same way I do…

But there are some things that I just realized…

Memories are all left, and this romantic feeling remains unreciprocated.

Yet, it grows profusely.

One day, I found myself standing right before this violet-eyed girl. You were holding her hand…

I knew the tenderness in your face wasn't a trick of light. There were motes of light dancing in your eyes as your gaze met hers…

I could feel the immense hurt in my chest when you introduced me as your best friend and this girl…

She's the one, you said. And her name was Sakura.

I could feel that I'm breaking but I smiled at her and I shook her hand.

Everything was coming back to me. 

I wished I could tell you how sorry I am because I was not able to keep track of my feelings. 

You have always been the Yuusuke I know. Always true to his word. 

I just realized now that there is no forever.

Just this.

There I was. 

Clearly, I remembered how heavy sadness is when I just stood there--just merely watching you.

Seeing how forever ends while this romantic feeling never goes…

Yet, that part of me is still wishing…

Wishing that you would feel the same way I do.

But you never did…

At this time, I'm here, sitting alone while waiting for the sun to go down.

Like we used to do, I am marveling how pretty those rose-shaded petals drifting from the cherry blossom trees while reminiscing the times that we used to be together. 

All of this time, the thoughts about that day would recur in my mind. I would imagine you before me and now I could never have you.

It is the Sakura Zensen. It is one of my favorite seasons. The roseate petals are dancing with the late afternoon breeze. The golden rays of the sun spread across the sky, reflecting the shade of deep vermilion to golden yellow. 

Just like the days before, you were sitting beside me … at this moment, it feels like there is something missing…

With the empty space beside me, I'm just thinking… Maybe the scene before me would have been lovelier if I was watching it with you…

More roseate petals are drifting in a leisurely pace.

~owari~


End file.
